Father’s Day

A friend of mine once told me that no matter what anyone ever tells you, you will never be prepared for how your life will change when you have a child. That observation is so true. I’m not necessarily talking about how it changes decisions on how we spend our time, our money and other aspects of lifestyle. Being a father to children causes a fundamental shift in how we see and relate to the world. We become less dismissive of bad behavior and bad jokes. It changes choices of where we eat, the movies we watch, and the minutia of life that we never thought twice about previously. We begin to think more, and about different things. We become more concerned with issues like education, ongoing wars, and other events in the wider world.

Above all else, becoming a father shifts our focus from being egocentric to relating to the world in terms of how events affect other people, especially our own children. It also compels a sense of urgency to change the world for the better and to build a better future. And it’s a permanent change. The focus, the care and the responsibility doesn’t end when they become independent adults either. If anything, it causes more angst because the day to day contact ends and you always wonder how they are doing. It doesn’t change either when they have their own children. That just means it starts all over again for you with the grandchildren. There’s no denying that being a good father is a burden and a daily challenge, but it is a burden of love that rewards you more than your children.

This Father’s Day I am grateful for my children, and also grateful for how fatherhood has made me a better human being. And so, if you are planning on having children think twice because no matter how much you think about it and prepare for it, you have no idea…

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